Five on Friday: Randomness As Usual

It’s time for Five on Friday, and this week it’s definitely going to be a random one. 

 

{ONE} Miss Ashley 

 

This was the second week of Ashley being home with me. She starts Kindergarten next Wednesday, so this week we spent a lot of quality time together. Monday she had to go get the last of her shots, which took hours longer than it should have, and was no fun for anyone. I hate hearing her cry, and I hate that she gets scared and says “Mommy don’t let them hurt me!” It definitely rips my heart out. I am already iffy on some of the shots, and this doesn’t help anything. Other than shots we had an awesome week. She came home from her dad’s with a bit of an attitude on Saturday, but got that out of her system this weekend. She and I had a talk and she threw the “Attitude Ashley” in the trash, and the sweet happy Ashley has spent the rest of the week with me. She has been on her best behavior, and very loving and sweet all week. I could write pages and pages about all the great times we had this week, and how helpful she has been, but I will simply say it has been wonderful! She brings so much joy and happiness to my life, and every day I am more and more amazed by her.

{TWO} De-Cluttering 

 

In addition to Ashley being in a great mood, we have had a pretty productive week around the house. I have been going through the house and attempting to de-clutter. This week I cleaned out my pantry, as well as the cabinets in both of the bathrooms. The amount of stuff I got rid of is crazy, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I need to go through all of our clothes next. I did this around this time last year, but both of us are different sizes again (her bigger, me smaller) so I am sure there is a bunch more that can be moved to the donate pile.

{Three} Out and About 

I think another reason I am feeling productive this week is the fact that I now have a vehicle. It’s the first time in over two months that I have had the freedom to go out and do the things I needed to do, without relying on someone else. I can only drive in town, and during the day, but that still allowed for me to run several errands and for Ashley and I to go to the library. We had been walking to several different places, but we got a car just in time, since it rained off and on most of this week. I think Ashley is just as happy as I am that we have a car again.

{FOUR} Twitter Craziness 

I feel as if I have fallen into some crazy alternate universe when I am on Twitter. Recently when someone asked me about Twitter and my followers I realized I don’t really have any (or not many at least) regular followers over there. I know that’s a weird thing to say, but it really is true. I have some comedians, some recording artists, several people from The Voice, radio DJs, numerous authors, and many amazing bloggers. Then yesterday B.J. Thomas started following me, after I sent him a birthday tweet. I understand none of you will understand why that is a huge deal to me, but I will do a blog to fill you all in soon. I have also received tweets from Neta Jackson who wrote the Yada Yada Prayer group books, some from Bluegrass Superstar Rhonda Vincent, and many others. Some of these people only tweet me once or twice, but others I am happy to call friends. If you would have asked me a year ago if I would be in constant communication with so many people I consider famous I would have laughed you out of the room, but here I am now, and that’s the reality I live in. I talk to these people. Several of them call me or send me text messages on a weekly basis. They might be famous, but they are my friends, and the fact that I can say that is an amazing feeling. I remember the day I was texting with Austin Blood, who happens to be an amazing Blogger, and actually was one of the first people I got really nervous about talking to, because he has such a huge following. As we were talking back and forth I asked what he was doing and he says “Oh responding to a tweet from Jenny McCarthy. “ I seriously about fell over, and of course my response was, “If you could be talking to her, why are you talking to me?” He quickly replied, “They are all just regular people.” He went on to tell me how he was star struck in the beginning, but soon I would be just like him and just consider them regular people too, or maybe even friends. Well he was right, here I am a few months down the road, and now I am the one getting the questions. “How did you get them to talk to you? How do I get them to follow me? Why are you talking to me if you could be talking to them?” Well I quickly learned they are all indeed just regular people, and I think the fact that I treat them that way is how I am able to call so many of them friends. That doesn’t mean I don’t get super excited and turn into a bit of a fan girl when I first find out someone is following me, but they don’t see that part, and then I quickly get over it (or write blogs like this about it. ;-) )

{Five} Love, Love, Love 

I feel like number five on my list shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone. Other than talking about Ashley, I believe this topic might be my most common… and that is that I am so happy and grateful to have Larry in my life. This week is no exception. Last weekend he helped me get my new vehicle, and all week he has been wonderful. Sunday and Monday I had some fun times with him and the girls, and even though a lot of that time was spent running errands it was still enjoyable. Even though that time together was good, it wasn’t my favorite of the week. My favorite of the week was when he stopped by on Tuesday. He came in, sat down next to me, and wrapped his arms around me without saying a word. Eventually he said, “I figured today was a hard and emotional day for you so I wanted to make sure we stopped by.” I was a bit shocked that he knew that day would be a bit of a hard one. I asked him how he knew, and he said “Well, I was with you last year.” For those of you who don’t know, Tuesday was the anniversary of the helicopter “crash” in Afghanistan that killed 31 American Military, many of whom were Navy Seals; including the older brother of someone I was very close to in college. I can’t explain exactly why his death hits me harder than others, or why that day is always burned into my head. I really think it’s because we all kind of thought he was invincible. He was young and had a full life ahead of him, but he was taken anyway. It’s one of those things I just can’t wrap my brain around, no matter how hard I try. Larry knows and understands this, and him coming by that day really meant a lot to me. It was an evening I wouldn’t have normally seen him, and he had other things to do that evening, but he made it a point to stop by even if just for a short period, and that meant the world to me. Then last night we had another great night. We ran a couple errands, and he helped me with a couple things around the house, but most importantly he helped lift my mood and bring a smile to my face. I hadn’t been feeling well most of the day, and was a bit down because of that, but talking with him about everything going on, and knowing he was there for me, really helped lift my spirits. So basically that is me rambling about a bunch of things that all sum up into… my boyfriend rocks and I love him bunches, and am so happy I get to call him mine!  

Well, those are the five random things on my mind this week. What’s on your mind? Leave me a comment and let me know! I love hearing from you guys. While you’re at it why don’t you go ahead and subscribe so you don’t miss out on any of the upcoming posts. Once you are done with that take a few minutes and visit some of the awesome blogs on this Five on Friday Link Up. You won’t be disappointed.

Thrifty Thursday

I sat down planning to tell you about all the amazing thrifty finds I have found this week. Between the consignment sale, Deals, The Dollar store, and thrift stores we have done very well. We got clothes for the girls, and I got a couple things for the house as well. However, when I sat down to talk about the greatest savings this week I realized it wasn't from any of those stores. The greatest savings this week was from our trip to the library.

Ashley and I went to the library yesterday afternoon and left with 28 books. All for FREE! Well actually we did pay $2.00 for a cloth bag because they were all out of regular ones, and there was no way I could carry all that without a bag.

We had placed many items on hold so when we got there they were all ready for us, and then we picked out a few more as well. Their hold system really is great. I went through my "want to read" section on goodreads (which is a great site to check out) and searched for them in the library system, placed holds on them, and they were sent to my branch and ready for me to pick up. In addition to the books for me I also placed holds on several about starting Kindergarten, which was super helpful because most of those are already checked out the week before school starts. In addition to regular books we got some books with read along CDs, and in the past have gotten some movies as well. Can you imagine what purchasing all of that would have cost? They are also starting to get many electronic versions of books as well, so soon I will be able to keep my Kindle filled up for free as well.

Ashley and I both thoroughly enjoy the library and have decided we will start going one evening a week throughout the school year. I love that she loves reading as much as I do, and I am grateful for our wonderful library system that provides us with such great selections without having to spend a dime.

Now that you have read about my love for the library, leave me a comment letting me know how you use your library, or your thrifty way of obtaining books.Then don't forget to check out some of the other blogs on Thursday Favorites.

Wordless Wednesday: Calm Waters

August 6th... Remembering Seal Team 6

I went to bed last night wondering what I was going to write about today. I had several ideas and a couple of them really stood out. Then I woke up this morning and realized what day it was, and all those ideas went out the window. Today is August 6th. Two years ago today 31 American Heroes were killed on a helicopter in Afghanistan. I have written about this before, and talked about it frequently, but will probably always continue to do so.  Here is the link to the blog I wrote on this day one year ago.

I had a bit of a debate with myself, about what exactly I was going to include in this post today. Part of me thought that I should only talk about what happened, and leave it at that. However, another part of me knows about all the controversy surrounding this tragedy, and what is currently being done in regards to it. I am still unsure if today is the right day to discuss it, but it is for them and their families that this has been in the news again lately, and I think that makes it important to share.

Seal Team 6 is credited with taking Osama Bin Laden out. The fact that we know this is at the center of a current court case. According to Operational Security, this information never should have been released to the public, and yet members of the Obama administration did just that. The Vice President gave a public address and shared this information. That never should have happened, and a few months later many members of that elite seal team were dead. Families of the fallen say that it is because of this leak in information that their family members lost their lives. They believe it was done in retaliation, and it would be hard not to think that.

In addition to this information being leaked, there is also question about the 7 Afghan men on board, the equipment being used, and the order to not fire back. You can read more about this here and watch the press conference here.  You can also watch the highlights here.

There is also this interview with the father of one of the fallen. You might not agree with of even like Michael Savage, but the dad says some very interesting things. As if that wasn't already enough to raise questions and concern, then you add to it the fact that they were cremated without the families permission. More info on that can be found here.

I sincerely hope that the families get the answers they are searching for, however I strongly feel that will never be the case. There will always be questions and controversies surrounding this.

With all of that being said the most important thing today is to stop and remember these heroes and the lives they gave defending our country. These were remarkable young men, and they left so many behind. RIP men... you may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.

Monday Memories: Lessons Learned

I seem to have the most trouble creating my blog posts on Mondays. It isn't for the normal reasons one would think of. It isn't because it''s Monday and I just don't want to do it. It isn't because I am still tired from the weekend. (I am, but that's not why!) It's because I don't typically blog on the weekend, so by Monday I have multiple topics spinning around in my head, and it makes it hard for me to narrow it down and pick just one. This week instead of writing about only one thing that happened over the weekend, I am going to tell you about all the different lessons I learned throughout the weekend.

#1. Consignment sales rock!

2 skirts, 1 dress, 2 shirts, 6 zip ups, 3 sweaters, 4 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of jeans, 1 PJ set, and a jacket (many new with tags) = $60

Sunday afternoon Larry, the girls, and I went to the Kid's Closet consignment sale. I have gone to this sale before, and sold at it a couple times. It is my favorite one in the area because they check everything so thoroughly before allowing it, so I am more confident buying things. This year I purchased way more than previous years, and was very pleased with the quality and prices on everything. Larry also found some great things for Stormie, so both girls now have the majority of their school clothes. We might need to get a couple more things and some shoes, but they really should be set for a while. 

#2. Buying a vehicle is stressful!

 Old Car

New Car

As most of you know I was in a serious car accident back in May, which totalled my car. Since I wasn't allowed to drive much since then, thanks to the concussion, I am just now getting around to buying a vehicle. I have been researching my options, and watching for deals on Craigslist as well as the local dealerships.  On Thursday I narrowed my options down to three vehicles, and on Friday Larry and I went to look at them. The first one was a no go right away. It had more miles that I was comfortable with, cigarette burns in the seats, and i couldn't even hit the brakes without my knew hitting the steering wheel. Then on top of all that the guy at the dealership said he wouldn't even really be comfortable selling it to me because he know it needed some work and was already at the top of my price range. Next we went to an individual's house to look at a Isuzu Rodeo. Several people had already told me that was what I should get because they hold up well and don't have many mechanical problems. It was half the price of the previous car and had 50,000 less miles on it. When we got there the vehicle was in much better shape than we anticipated. The owners spoke very broken English so we spoke to their daughter on the phone who acted as a translator. We decided to go back the next day and have a mechanic look at it. Well when we got there the next day they were okay with us having a mechanic look at it, but didn't want us to take it for long enough to bring it to our mechanic 30+ minutes away. I understood as I wouldn't trust someone I didn't know to do that either, but I was very nervous about buying it without having someone check it out. Larry had looked it over, but there were some things we wouldn't be able to tell without putting it on a lift. We decided we would leave it and think about it for a while. Larry was confident that it was a good car, for a great price, but I was still conflicted. I seriously have the worst luck ever and was terrified I would buy it and then find out it isn't safe to drive. I could turn around and sell it,but I wouldn't be comfortable selling it without letting people know we had found out. So we left, and went to a gas station to get drinks while we thought about it. Not getting it was hard, but getting it would be just as hard.

#3. Sometimes you have to take risks. 

 After leaving the vehicle I called my mechanic again. He told me a couple things to check for, but reassured me they don't have any big known issues. I talked to him about the price and he agreed if it was in good condition it would be a steal. Then Larry and I talked about it some more. We discussed the price we had seen on some without a working motor, and I finally decided I really wasn't risking much. It was reassuring to me to know that Larry would feel comfortable with me driving it, with the girls with me, and I know if he had any doubts about it at all he wouldn't feel that way. So as we were leaving KCK I said, "Can we just go back and buy it?" Larry happily said yes (he kept saying it was a great deal, but it was my decision.) So back we went. We offered them less than they were asking, haggled back and forth a couple times, and ended up buying the car.

#4. You're not ever going to please everyone, so if you are happy that's what matters. 

In addition to my nervousness about buying the car, my family was also very concerned about me buying it without taking it to our mechanic. I was worried they would be upset with me taking the risk, although I had checked everything the mechanic told me too, and we had driven it quite a bit. Ultimately I decided it really was my decision and even if people were upset, I could be happy knowing I made the decision  that was best for Ashley and me. Are you wondering how it turned out? Well..... we took it to my mechanic as soon as we got back into town, and they looked it over thoroughly and did an inspection on it. I was ridiculously nervous waiting to see, even though the mechanic had already told me for the price I was paying, if the car ran I was doing good. Anyway... we went and got lunch while they checked it out, and returned about an hour later. As we waited, and I wondered if I was going to have to kill Larry for talking me into it, or be relieved that he did. With much relief I can tell you, I didn't have to kill him after-all. After a complete and thorough check the only problems they could find is that I will need to replace the brake pads in the spring and at that time replace the ball bearings, and possibly do one other minor thing to the wheels. Total cost for all of that is under $400. What I paid for the vehicle was about $3000 under Kelly Blue Book, and the mechanic told me I could have paid at least $2000 more for the car and still made a great deal. So there you have it, it was definitely a risk that paid off.

#5. Shopping on tax free weekend is INSANE. 

After hitting the consignment sale we headed to Wal-Mart to get the girls school supplies. You wouldn't think this would be a big deal, but since it was tax free weekend the place was a zoo. Imagine Black Friday shopping except crammed all in the school supplies.

#6. Doing things as a group makes tax free weekend a bit more tolerable. 

I am very happy we all went together, because frequently it was too crowded to get carts down aisles. One of us would wait with the girls and the other would go find things off the list. It also helped the girls because they didn't get bored or start fussing since they had each other to talk with. 

#7. When shopping with a 5 and 6 year old girl make sure there are two of something before you offer it to them, and limiting the options is important. 

We learned right away the the girls wanted the same thing almost all the time. So we always had to make sure there were two of something before supplying it as an option. We also picked a couple things to show them instead of letting them pick from everything. In the end they got almost everything the same or very similar, except for backpacks, and one notebook. 

#8. It is hard to teach someone something that you do automatically without thinking about it. 

While at Wendy's last night Larry and I were trying to explain how to chew food. Now, chewing is something most of us do automatically so trying to explain it was more challenging than one would think. Especially trying to explain for to move food to the back of your mouth to chew. Larry got the idea of using two forks to help demonstrate, which ultimately led to him shooting a chicken nugget across the restaurant, which gave us all a good laugh, but left us no closer to explaining chewing. Seriously... how do you explain this to someone? 

#9. Real life relationship days are the best. 

After weekends like this one, or days like this, I always comment on feeling like we are in a real relationship. Which of course makes Larry laugh because obviously we are in a real relationship and have been for some time now. I still think days where we are accomplishing things that need to be done, and still enjoying our time together is very important. Days like that help me know that our relationship can last. It isn't all about the fun times, but making the every day times fun. 

#10. Surrounding yourself with people you love makes everything better. 

No explanation needed!

Go check out some other great blogs on the Monday Mingle, and leave me a comment letting me know what you learned this weekend!

Five For Friday: 5 Reasons You Shouldn't Date Single Moms... Wait! What?

Last night I was discussing this blog with Larry (that would be my boyfriend, for those of you not keeping up ;-) ). We were talking about the things I had written about lately, the number of people viewing the blog, but most importantly we were discussing what I should write about next.  I commented that it definitely needs to be something fun, as many of my topics lately have been really serious. He knew I had plans with a friend later that night so he suggested we go out and  do something fun and then write about that, but I wasn’t sure how I could make that into a Five On Friday topic. As I tried to come up with topics I jokingly told him I was going to write about the 5 reasons you shouldn’t date single moms. Of course he kiddingly replied that he would love to read that, because he might need some reasons. Of course over the last year I am sure I have already given him plenty of reasons, but that’s beside the point.  At the time we were just joking about it, but once I had said it I decided it really is something I might do.  After I got home I decided to do a search on the topic, to see what I found, and then could decide if it was something I would really do. Well I did a basic google search and found a ridiculous amount of articles on the topic. Apparently dating a single mom is bad, Bad, BAD, and you shouldn’t do it EVER! 

I will say many of the articles define a single mom as a mom who had a child out of wedlock or is divorced, some specify that those are different things, but in most cases they were lumped together. After reading through many of the articles I picked out some of my favorite reasons, and that’s what I am going to share with you today.  They might be a bit crazy, or you might completely agree with them, as far as what I think, you’ll have to read on and see! 

Reason #1: This reason was listed on almost every article I read, but I think this article  says it best (or worst whatever the case may be), “Baby Damage – Birth has a traumatic effect on the female form. Pregnancy leaves stretch marks, saggy breasts, and c-section scars. I’ve also heard that the nookie is even stretch out and it isn’t the same anymore. Then there’s the weight gain. Most women NEVER LOSE IT or they never get their former hot shape back.” Have you ever fallen off a bike? Do you have any scars on your body? Have you ever put on a little weight?  If so you clearly wouldn’t be good enough for the person who wrote this article. After all a women’s body is created purely to satisfy men and give them something to stare at. We all knew that was the case right? Wait a minute; I don’t think that was the reason at all! Women’s bodies do amazing things during pregnancy, birth, and beyond.  Okay so her boobs might be a bit different, probably because they were used for what they were intended for. She might have a few extra stretch marks, or she might not. Of course all moms are huge and have gained a ton of weight they haven’t taken off, I mean that’s clearly the case right? WRONG! Many women stay in shape during their pregnancy and after.  I for one weigh less now than when I got pregnant, and am in just as good of shape, if not better. However, anyone who would write something like this clearly isn’t someone I would want to date anyway. I think instead of being titled 13 Reasons To Avoid Dating Single Mothers, it should have been titled Women Beware!

Reason #2: They are liars! This also was listed on almost every list, but one of the articles really let their opinion be heard on this one. In this article  they have a lot to say and here it is quoted directly from their site...

 “Dishonest. A single mother is a LIAR. It’s how she gets what she wants. It’s how she manipulates people. It’s how she takes care of her kids. It’s how she survives in this world.

Single mothers lie. And they LIE ALL THE TIME. They lie to men about their age, their height, their weight, how many kids they have, the job they do.

On top of the lies they tell to others They lie to themselves. They lie about about how beautiful they are. They lie telling themselves they’re still a catch. They lie telling themselves they still have a chance with a good man. They lie telling themselves that their lives will be happily ever after one day.

The horrible truth is without those lies most of those single mothers would realize how pathetic their lives are. How they have no options in the dating scene. That they’re at the bottom of the barrel in the dating scene and the only men who want them are pathetic Manginas and thirsty Simps.”

Wow, so not only are they liars, but they are also the lowest of low, and guys that date them really must be pathetic. Weird, I definitely never thought of my boyfriend as pathetic, but then again I also never lie to him. In fact I don’t lie to people at all. I want to be an excellent role model for my daughter so I live my life in a way she could be proud of and that means no lying. I also respect my relationship, and am with someone who respects it as well. We have both learned from past relationships, and work to make this one great and that definitely doesn’t include lying. 

Reason #3: They aren’t good at relationships. In this article they suggest that either the woman is obsessed with marriage, which is why she chose the wrong guy the first time, or she was the problem in the relationship. Many other articles also suggest that clearly the woman isn’t good at relationships if she is divorced and/ or a single mom. It’s interesting to me that none of these articles suggest that the other partner could have been the problem in a relationship. Why is all the blame placed on the single mom? It definitely takes two to make a relationship work, but I guess according to these articles if it fails one way or another it’s definitely the ladies fault. That's especially odd to me, because the single dads I know had everything blamed on them as well, and if it's all the woman's fault, it can't also be all the guys fault, but clearly the people who write these articles aren't exactly geniuses so maybe they can't figure that out.

Reason #4: You will always come second.  That's totally not..... wait a minute, that totally it true! This is another one of those things listed everywhere, and one I actually agree with. You will come second to the child, and you should come second to the child. That does not mean you can’t be in a healthy and happy relationships. I am curious about the people who use this theory. Are they all people who don’t want a family? Would they not be alright coming second to their own child or is it just because it’s another person’s child? This is another one of those reasons that should be labeled Women Beware. I definitely wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who isn’t okay with me putting my child first, and I definitely wouldn’t want to be in a family like that. Now, don’t get me wrong I think children witnessing a healthy relationship is very important so I think your significant other should be a priority in your life, and I think that benefits everyone, but children’s needs should be met and shouldn’t be pushed aside just because someone is selfish and insists on being number one in all aspects of someone’s life. 

Reason #5: They will make you pay for everything. Several articles listed this reason, and it honestly made me chuckle. They went on to point out if there are kids involved everything will cost more and it will all be left for the guy to handle. I don’t know what world those people are living in, but I definitely don’t make my boyfriend pay for everything. We both pay for different things, and make plans based on what we can afford at the time. Isn’t that how most relationships work? Yes, it is more expensive with the kids involved, but in my relationship many of our happiest times are when the kids are involved, and often that’s doing things that are free. I guess if someone isn’t okay doing free things they probably shouldn’t date a single mom though, because single parents are usually pretty great about finding things to do that are inexpensive or completely free.

So now that you have heard the 5 reasons you shouldn’t date a single mom I am going to give you one good reason you should. 

THEY ARE AWESOME! That’s a great reason right? Okay, so maybe not all of them are awesome, but that’s the thing; not all of them are great, and not all of them are horrible. They are regular people and just like everyone else there are some great ones and there are some horrible ones. If you get to know a single mom and you develop feelings for her, date her, if you don’t develop feelings for her, then don’t date her, but lumping everyone into categories like this is crazy. If you aren’t mature enough to handle dating a single mom then please do them a favor and don’t do it. That’s a personal choice and that’s okay, but don’t put all single moms down because of your preference. 

I am glad Larry chose to date me although I have a daughter, and I am glad I chose to date him although he has a daughter. That might even make us exempt from all these crazy rules, since we are both single parents, but we have definitely still heard about it. Many people told us in the beginning, it would never work, but so far we are proving them wrong. We have been together over a year, and the four of us love spending time together. We have grown together, learned together, and definitely laughed together. Yes, there are times that are hard, but that’s the case in any relationship. Ultimately though we have both learned a lot from our past, and even more from being parents, and drawing on all of that has made us the people we are, the person the other fell in love with, and the reason our relationship is strong, and I definitely wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Thoughtful Thursday: Stop and Remember

As I struggle with the loss of our baby in 2012 I often look for places to find strength. This comes from a variety of sources.... friends, family, books, quotes, and very frequently from Ashley. Sunday, July 28th would have been our babies first birthday. So that day we took some time to stop and remember.  When Ashley first woke up to begin getting ready for church she asked if it was baby brother's birthday. We had discussed it before, but she wanted to make sure. I told her it was, and we had a talk about how it might be a rough day for mommy. As tears started leaking from my eyes, Ashley asked, "Mommy why does that make you sad? Are you worried about baby brother being alone on his birthday?" I said, "Yes, that's part of it!" To which she replied, "Well he isn't alone, he is with Jasmine (our dog who died last summer). They play up there, and there's lots of other people too." So after those words of wisdom we went to church, and Ashley lit a candle after Mass. That evening after spending some time with friends at the park, Larry, Stormie, Ashley, and I stopped at Deals. Ashley and I went in so she could pick a balloon for baby brother. Inside the store I was once again reminded of just how strong this little girl is, and no matter how much we talk openly about the loss it will always shock other people.

Ashley looked through all of the balloons and decided an elmo balloon would be the perfect one. We waited in line to check out, and when we got to the counter the cashier wanted to know if the balloon was all we needed. Ashley said yes, and informed her it was for her baby brother. The cashier responded in typical fashion, about how sweet Ashley was and how thoughtful she was to be picking something out for her baby brother. Then Ashley said "Well today is my baby's birthday and we have to get this balloon for him, because he died." The cashier was obviously shocked as she threw her hand over her mouth, and looked at me to confirm what was just said. My eyes were filled with tears, but I said nothing. The lady then said, "Wow, I think that's the saddest thing I've ever heard." She was instantly fighting tears herself as she bent down close to Ashley and said, "You know what? I'll pray for him." Ashley said,"Thank You" and off we went. Once back in the car Ashley wanted to know why the lady started crying, and I had to explain that just because we talk about it, doesn't mean other people aren't surprised by it. For her it is just a normal part of life, but obviously that isn't the case for everyone.

After buying the balloon we headed to Lake Jacomo. We couldn't go to the same spot as last year, because someone was having a party. We found another location that had some space away from power lines and trees. Ashley wanted to be the one to let the balloon go so she did and watched it for a long time. As the balloon went farther away the girls began playing on the playground, but Larry and I continued to watch the balloon until we could no longer see it. It had gotten to the point that it would go behind a cloud and then it would appear again, but finally it was gone for good. At that point we decided maybe next year we should attach a note to the balloon. I had thought of it earlier in the day, but then didn't end up doing it, but I do think it's a good idea for next year.

Days like that are hard. It's on those days where I turn to other sources for comfort. This year one of those sources was Finding Nemo, and Dory saying "Just keep swimming." Lately that quote has gotten a lot of publicity as YouTube sensation Talia, told Ellen that's what helped her get through each day of dealing with cancer, which is a battle she tragically lost just a couple weeks ago. I figured if that young 13 year old girl could find the strength to get through everyday, even the hard ones, so could I. So this week I have repeatedly reminded myself to "just keep swimming" and have gotten through it, one day at a time.

Watch the videos below to see Talia on the Ellen Show:






Although Sunday was a difficult day, it was the perfect day. Just the right combination of distracting myself, and remembering the one that we lost. I like the way we stopped to remember and pray, but we didn't let the sadness consume us. Everyday since the baby died I have told myself that now the baby can look down on us, and I want him to always see things he would be proud of, and I am confident he would have been proud of all of us that day.


For More Inspirational Disney check out this blog:


Please also check out the Thursday Favorites Blog Hop: It's a great group of blogs, and while I normally post some of my favorite things on Thursday today it was important for me to share this, and how amazing my favorite person in the world is. Ashley really is my angel, and I am inspired by her everyday.