This quote comes back time and time again. So exact in the way I feel.

Everything in me knows I should be mad, I should hate you, and through tears I've said I do, but everyone knows it's not true.

I've gotten angry. I've wanted to lash out. So many times I've wanted to ask why this is so easy for you, but then I remember the countless messages I've left on read, and the dozens of calls I've refused to answer, yet they don't stop coming, and I know the truth, easy and unphased is just the mask you put on to get through the day.

My entire life I've believed love doesn't fade, it doesn't go away, and when you love you love forever. Now more than ever I know that's true.

I've always said "sometimes you simply have to love from far away" but there's nothing simple about it. It's like trying to live your life without part of your heart, missing part of your soul.

I can't go back. I don't want to. So I try to move on. I'm surrounded by great people. I've had wonderful dates. Everything I thought I ever wanted was offered to me. I should be over the moon. I should be estatic and filled with joy. And yet... all I feel is nothing... overwhelming numbness, complete emptiness.

So here I sit, not wanting to go back, unable to move forward; just waiting for a moment that sets my soul on fire, one that makes me complete once again.