Over the last couple months I have come to the blog countless times. Every time I think I am ready to stop and write. To share everything on my mind, and talk about what's been happening in my life. And yet every time I come to write I get completely overwhelmed as all the memories flood my thoughts. So time and time again I walk away. Saying nothing. Unable to write. Unready to share what's going on in my head. Not willing to share how I am feeling.
There have been many changes in my life over the last couple months. Some things I have struggled with and worked through, and some I am continuing to work through every day. There have been losses that are completely unbearable, and will never be gotten over. It helps to talk about it and normally it helps to write about it, and yet somehow writing about it makes it all too real, and right now I don't want it to be real.
It definitely isn't all bad though, there have been good changes too. People coming into my life, opportunities coming my way, and things working themselves out. Positive changes that are working to make everything better. Changes that give me hope.
Good or bad all change requires an adjustment period. As I stop and put the pieces back together it is important for me to remember how important it is to have an outlet. I need to keep writing, even when it's hard. Even when it brings tears. In the end it's what helps. It's what keeps me grounded. So here I am writing once again. I can't talk about it all yet, that will come later, but for now I can write, and write is what I will do.