My entire life I have wanted to teach. I honestly can’t remember a time when that wasn’t on my goals list. I love children and always have, but even more important than my love for children was my determination to make a difference. Just think about it. As a parent you are the number 1 influence in your child’s life and you get to help mold that child into a good person, a positive person for society. You get to help establish a foundation in which they can grow, flourish, and live up to their potential. As a teacher you may not be the number 1 impact, but you definitely make a difference. You still help set the foundation. You still help a child grow, and you push that child to flourish and be the best person they can be. Except in this case you aren’t just doing it for a few children. You are doing it for an entire classroom of children every year. It’s one of the ultimate ways to make a difference. If you don’t like where the future of our country or our world is headed…. Teach a child. Those children are our future. Invest in them. Listen to them. Show them. Teach them. Watch them grow.
I was so devoted to this goal, and
these thoughts that I overlooked all the other ways there are to make a
difference. It isn’t only about children. You can live your life in a way that
you are an example to everyone. You can listen to those around you. You can
identify people’s needs, and you yourself can be the type of person that you
would like to see become the norm as opposed to the exception. People never
stop learning. In living a good and positive life you aren’t only being a good
example for a child, but are in fact an example for everyone you come in
contact with.
About a year and a half ago I left
my teaching position at the elementary school. At the time I was completely
heartbroken. It was something I had worked so hard for. I honestly felt I was
making a difference in those children’s lives and they were making a difference
in mine. I am not looking back on it with rose-colored glasses, as there were
clearly things in the situation that I didn’t agree with, wasn’t comfortable
with, but tried to overlook. It wasn’t the perfect situation or environment
that I had always envisioned it would be. There was judgment. There was
negativity, and in all honesty there were many people who were setting an
example, but I can’t say that they were all good ones. In situations like that
you start to take the weight of the world on your shoulders. You want to
counteract the negativity. You want to make sure that there is at least some good
even if it is surrounded by bad. That’s why I was so hurt by what happened. I
believed I was doing the best thing. I had parents and children letting me know
how big of a difference I was making in their lives. Some of these people still
contact me today. Constantly reminding me that who I was in his or her lives
was someone who mattered, someone who made a difference. 
That’s why when everything happened
I was crushed. I will not go into the entire situation, as it honestly doesn’t
matter. What it boils down to is some people didn’t agree with some things in
my life. Without knowing the situation, without ever really looking into it
they judged me, and through this judgment it was determined that if I wasn’t
the same as them I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t a good role model. I wasn’t a
good representation of the faith. As someone who strives to always be a role
model, and to do the right thing even is no one is watching, hearing something
like this shook me to my core. I questioned myself. I looked at my life and
wondered if I in fact was doing something wrong. If I wasn’t living my life in
a way I should be proud of. I can honestly say in the months of reflection and
the months of beating myself up trying to figure it out I finally came to the
conclusion that I wouldn’t have done it any other way. I wasn’t doing something
wrong I was doing something different, and if that is something you can’t
accept then that’s a reflection on you, not a reflection on me. Although I was
finally comfortable with this I will still saddened. I still felt I was losing
my dream of making a difference. It was a rough time. It was something that was
difficult for me to come to terms with, and something I couldn’t completely
comprehend.
Looking back now I can honestly
stay I made a difference then, and I am still making a difference in ways I
couldn’t have ever imagined. I am still working with children, and although it
is in a different setting these children still have the same needs and still
need someone that lives the type of life they can hope to have. Setting that
aside though there are so many other parts of my life now, and so many things I
have done that have renewed my faith that I can make a difference in this
world. I still have my podcast (although it’s taken a short break while I dealt
with some of life’s more pressing issues.) Through the show I have made amazing
contacts. I have been involved with organizations that I am so proud to be
associated with. I have done shows bringing to light some health issues that
are often left in the shadows. I have done shows in support of Bands 4 Arms,
The Boot Campaign, and Wounded Warriors. We have done shows on Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder and Traumatic Brain Injuries. On a lighter note there have been
shows to draw attention to up and coming artists. We have gotten the word out
about new CDs, new sitcoms, new blogs, and many other adventures people have
embarked on. I have been involved in a couple different new podcasts starting
up. I have given a voice to people that previously didn’t have one, and in each
and every one of those things we’ve made a difference. I have received e-mails
from listeners, who I now consider dear friends, telling me that they got
through their treatment that day because they were listening to the show. I
have spoken with people who have lived a life scarred by abuse, and they have
thanked me for getting the word out. I have received messages simply saying,
“What you do is important!” and each and every time I realize that “it makes a
difference.” It might be in an entirely different way than I imagined
throughout my life, but it is still fulfilling the goals I set for myself.
Through those situations and
experiences I have opened the door for many other opportunities. I have started
writing articles about things I enjoy and things and people I believe in. I
have gotten to interview people who I look up to, and I have had the
opportunity to meet people that I admire, as well as artists I am a huge fan
of. Without going through everything I went through as I left the classroom
none of this would have been possible. I wouldn’t have found myself in the
situation I am in. I wouldn’t be writing for multiple online magazines. I
wouldn’t be hosting my show. I wouldn’t be helping do PR and social media
communications for companies and organizations I truly believe in. I wouldn’t
be able to have a phone interview with BJ Thomas and share with him that his
concert was the first one I ever went to, and years later it was the first one
I took my daughter to. I wouldn’t get emails from musicians on reality shows
sharing with me that previous contestants have shared so many positive things
about working with me that they now want to know if they can have hat same
opportunity. I have received e-mails from PR Reps letting me know that their
clients shared that I was a breath of fresh air in the industry. I was a good
person and was doing things for the right reasons, and because of that they
want to work with me again in the future. All of those things mean so much to
me, and I don’t take a single one for granted. They help me know I am doing the
right thing, and at the end of the day I can look back and honestly say… “Yes I
did the right thing. Yes I have and can continue to make a difference, and
possibly most importantly of all I can now say with full confidence “Yes it
mattered!” 
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